Phone Jobs.

I've been working the Katrina Hotline for the last three days at work. Our organization is mobilizing and training volunteers for the city of Philadelphia.

It's actually not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Most are wack jobs but with the exception of one foul tempered, old woman, they are all very pleasant to talk to.

This got me thinking to how many jobs I have had that involved phones. So far it has been one telemarketing, four receptionist, one phone sex, and one voice over for a concert dates and celebrity gossip hotline.

I got fired from the telemarketing job for lying. The phone sex job was in the basement of a store on Jeweler's Row. It wasn't live phone sex. The office was a makeshift recording studio where girls would record stories for guys to call and listen to. I never understood the appeal to pre-recorded phone sex, besides the stories were some of the most moronic fantasies I had ever heard. Also, the recording equipment was so cheap that my medium range voice generated fuzzy sounding feedback. I had to raise my voice in order to eliminate the fuzz. I probably sounded like a midget.

The voice over job was a second income gig. My friend, Dean, got me the job. This was before the internet became widely accessible. People would call the hotline to listen to the touring dates of their favorite bands. There was also the teen gossip hotline and the music celebrity hotline.

I was given a special phone to record my updates out of my home. The phone had a very sensitive voice receptor. I used the phone for my regular calls too and it would drive people crazy because it sounded like I was shouting all the time.

I loved doing the hotline but I would wait until the last minute to record my updates. I would be up until 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning recording lists and lists of dates. I was so exhausted that towards the end, I wouldn't bother rerecoding over my mistakes. Both Dean and I were guilty of fucking up on our recordings and just leaving them there. Honestly, I can't even imagine who would have actually used this service.

It's funny because although I am friendly and have a pleasant phone voice, I'm seriously lacking in customer service skills. I have a very short level of patience and can turn nasty very quickly.

Thankfully the phone lines will be shut down tomorrow.