Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!

I'm here at work. It's really beautiful outside. Normally, I like to try and take the day off. Mostly to escape office birthday parties. Unfortunately, I had to come in to the office this year.

However, I'm planning to have a very relaxed weekend and run around alot with my husband, who by the way got me a very, very beautiful early birthday gift.

Three famous people that I share a birthday with: Elie Wiesel, Truman Capote, and strangely enough Confucious (or at least that is when the Chinese recognize his birthday.)

In my past, I've had some trully awful birthdays but I've finally gotten to a point where I have let go of any expectations I have for the day and others' involvement in it. It seems to be working.

And Kirk Shall Lead Us....

My husband and I were watching tv on Saturday when we came across Kirk Cameron professing his devotion to his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I had not thought of Kirk Cameron for years. I actually didn't like him at the height of his fame so there wasn't any reason to wonder about him or his non-existent career. So, it was so weird to see him testifying his faith like that. His website is very rough.

It got me thinking about celebrities and their spiritual paths. I looked up a list of celebrity Scientologists, obviously knowing about Tom Cruise, Kirstie Alley, and John Travolta but I was saddened to see the list include Jason Lee, Giovanni Ribisis (I adore them both) and Beck!!

I spent a meaningless half an hour searching out lists of famous people practicing marginal or non-western religions or cults. Enjoy.

Buddhists

Bahai

Kabbalists

Dionne!

Dionne Warwick is my favorite Motown diva! There's something very accessible about her voice and her songs that puts her into a category all of her own. She's no ice queen like Diana Ross and she certainly doesn't have the raw intensity of Aretha Franklin or Tina Turner. Dionne doesn't need to play the extremes. Her mid-range voice allows her to add a very wide range of emotions to her songs that isn't forced or contrived. Unlike other Motown ladies, Dionne falls in-between the ballbusters and the doormats. She's completely honest with her flaws and expects that you are going to love her anyway.

Check out her song "Don't Make Me Over". Written for Dionne by Burt Bacharach as a peace offering over a studio misunderstaning. According to the story, Dionne snapped at Burt, "Don't make me over, man!" and then stormed out. "Don't Make Me Over" is, in my opinion, just as powerful as Franklin's "Respect".

Dionne's also a complete wack-job. She's been busted for drug possesion at 61 and she is the very famous host of the Psychic Friends Hotline. She's very much like another crazy diva, Whitney Houston, which is no surprise since she is Whitney's cousin.

Don't make me over
Now that I'd do anything for you
Don't make me over
Now that you know how I adore you
Don't pick on the things I say, the things I do
Just love me with all my faults, that way that I love you
I'm begging you
Don't make me over
Now that I can't make it without you
Don't make me over
I wouldn't change one thing about you
Just take me inside your arms and hold me tight
And always be by my side, if I am wrong or right
I'm begging you
Don't make me over
Don't make me over
Now that you've got me at your command
Accept me for what I am
Accept me for the things that I do
Accept me for what I am
Accept me for the things that I do
Now that I'd do anything for you
Now that you know how I adore you
Just take me inside your arms and hold me tight
And always be by my side, if I am wrong or right
I'm begging you
Don't make me over
Don't make me over
Now that you've got me at your command
Accept me for what I am
Accept me for the things that I do
Accept me for what I am
Accept me for the things that I do

Watership Down

After seeing the movie when I was 11 or 12, I was obsessed with Watership Down for months. I wrote many, many stories inspired by trials of Hazel, Pipkin, Fiver, and Bigwig. They would start out well enough but one week into it I would get tired of the plot and the characters and just ended things by having everyone die, kind of like Hamlet. I remember reading some of the story to my Mom and afterwards she commented on how brutual the ending was.

Recently, I made a risky vinyl purchase of an album inspired by Watership Down. It's by a Swedish musician named Bo Hansson. The album is called El-ahraihrah after the mythical rabbit in the story. It's actually really good. I'm not sure where the inspiration comes into it but it's a great prog rock album nonetheless.

Richard Adams wrote another book with animal protagonists called Plague Dogs. The animated film from that story is really dark and kind of trippy.

Josep is waving goodbye, goodbye....

Josep Chun, our visitng rep from the Community Chest of Korea (their version of UW), is leaving this weekend to return home. I'm not sure why Josep was here to observe our UWSEPA. But for the last three months he's been here, we have developed a routine where he insists on saying hello to me everytime he passes my desk. Doesn't matter if I am on the phone or eating, he will go out of his way to exchange a greeting.

I think it is because I always wear the CCK pin he gave out as gifts when he first arrived. It is their logo which looks like three cherries but I'm not sure if that is what it is. It makes him really happy to see me wear it. The kids in the picture look like they have collection banks made to resemble a piece of the logo. I guess it's kind of like the boxes we were given in Catholic Schools to collect $$ to feed kids in India and Nicuragua.

Josep is planning a farewell party for himself on friday with Korea party food. God only knows what that will be like with HR providing cookies and soda.

Arts and Crafts

Or "Arts and Craps" as my dad would call them. When did they become a staple in our lives? I'm not referring to work from other time periods such as the Arts and Crafts movement of the late 19th Century but rather the modern creative endeavors of housewives, the elderly, children, and the mentally challenged.

When did "homemade" become synonymous with bad design and aesthetics? Are these pieces creative in anyway? When it gets to the point where someone can't even identify what the object is supposed to resemble or what purpose it serves, can we still refer to it as either an art or a craft?

Rabbit in the Moon.

My favorite Japanese myth is the rabbit in the moon. Unlike our man in the moon, the Japanese believe there is instead a rabbit that pounds mochi. The rabbit symbolizes good fortune and longevity and it is associated with the cycle of life and changes in the seasons.

The shinto festival known as Tsukimi is coming up soon. Tsukimi means, literally, "moon viewing". People have evening picnics and food is served that either symbolizes the moon (like the aduki bean and sweet mochi dessert)or celebrates the fall season.

I started running when I was 12 years old. My motivation at the time was to lose weight but it soon became obvious that running allowed me to keep my shit together mentally. At various points in my life, running has been my way to beat the devil out of me, to connect with myself, to challenge, and in one case to end an addiction.

Running, itself, has never been an addiction for me. It may have been, at times, part of an addiction but running has always maintained a separate place and purpose in my life. Running enabled me to withdraw in myself but still stay connected, alert and aware. I run without my glasses because I like to be able to feel the run with as little or no distractions as possible.

I ran competetively in my 20s. It's funny to look back on those times and acknowledge the need I had for measurable goals in whatever I was doing. Of course training for something like a race greatly reduces the drudgery of running but I think of my efforts at the time and I have to laugh. I was a chainsmoker for most of my 20s. Somehow, I was able to condition myself so that I could still run while smoking a pack and a half of cigarettes per day. Often you would find me lighting up, moments after crossing the finish line. I used my last race, a half-marathon, as my way of finally quitting.

I stopped running four years ago. When I adopted a macrobiotic diet, I was advised to stop running. I was told it created too much tightness in my body and wasn't good for my condition. I didn't argue to much because what runner doesn't secretly want to be told to not ever run again? It was good that I took the time off. It allowed me to heal myself without overtaxing my body and it allowed me to explore other forms of physical exercise. Most importantly, it finally got me to release my tight-as-a-steel-rod hamstrings! But I have yet to find a replacement for the mental release running provides for me. I love walking and hiking and they come in a very close second but it is simply not the same.

I'm preparing to return to running again this fall. I'm looking into a couple of races, if I find that I have returned to racing form by that time. More than anything, I'm longing to get back to the routine. I love running for the reason that many people hate it. I love the fact that most days a run is just a run. You get up and you do it. 9 times out of 10, there is no extreme rush, there's not a lot of excitement, it isn't glamorous at all and often it hurts. The beautiful runs, the perfect runs, rare as they are, are exhilarating! These perfect solitary moments are what motivates me.

Urban Farming

This past weekend, I attended an open house of an inner-city farm. I had been trying to volunteer with the organization that managed the farm for over a year and this was the first chance I had to see the farm itself.

Somerton Tank Farms exists because of a partnership between the Philadelphia Water Department and the Institute for Innovations in Local Farming. The half acre farm turned a profit of $30K in their third year of existence.

Personally, I am very much in support of local farming, land preservation, and fresh and organic food but I wonder how much of things like urban farming and CSAs are just a quixotic pursuit of a very small subset of people? How many people actually know where their food comes from and do they even care to know? Commercial farming isn't going to ever end and for some time the US has expanded its growing fields to the rest of the world. The US imports a large portion of its produce from other countries. It is cheaper, more readily available and easier to obtain. Small local farms are more expensive, their produce is season dependent and the sale locations are farmers stands or CSA drop-off points. CSA's also create seasonal packages based on what the farm is growing. That means that unless their is a consensus amongst their members, more times than not you are not able to choose which produce you receive.

It is a very noble idea to think that our efforts in the production of sustainable agriculture and the education of the public to support local farmers would create a viable alternative to commercial farming and supermarkets. But I honestly think that it will most likely always remain a small alternative movement. In a country of abundance to the point of gross excess, the need for these types of farms is based only on consumer preference. In other parts of the world, particularly third world countries, this type of farming and food sharing make sense. In America, the direction of our food consumption is solidly pointed towards having as much variety as possible, as cheaply as possible. Even those communities who would benefit from local farming aren't able or interested in this option because of underlying cultural bias and the high cost of the goods.

On the other hand, it was very good to see two people (STF is currently farmed by a husband and wife team) who decided to commit themselves to changing their careers (Steve was a youth counselor and Nicole was an architect) because they were unhappy with the ones they had. Farming is a hard, hard job. Rewarding but hard. It was exciting to see that it is possible to create a change for one's self on that level.

Heros- Mrs. Coates



Mrs. Coates was my private art instructor for two years, starting when I was 11. She, like Mr. Styers and Mr. Buehl (stories to come later), is a senior role model to me. She is why I do not fear growing old.

Mrs. Coates was in her late 70s, early 80s when I studied with her. She was a sculptor and painted water colors. At that time, she was still exhibiting. She was also doing things like teaching art to children, managing her life including major household repairs (one time we found her on the roof, replacing shingles) and caring for an invalid husband. She also had a really fascinating history. At one point, she studied art in the Netherlands . She had to give up her studies when the Nazis invaded that country in 1940.

Mrs. Coates had great energy and a great level of patience. She was very firm with me and insisted that if I was going to study with her, then I needed to focus and develop a foundation. I was very unfocused and didn't have the patience or discipline to sketch beginner still lifes. I wanted to draw cartoons all the time, mostly of rabbits. I was obsessed with Watership Down.

Mrs. Coates, in her way, won me over or wore me down and got me to focus long enough to start to develop a decent level of drawing skill. She reminded us (there were 4 or 5 other students) that we needed to practice drawing every day. Unfortunately, any talent I may have demonstrated was negated by the fact that I had absolutlely no discipline. By the time I was out of high school my drawing skills were almost non-existent. Today, I can barely sketch something out. But during the two years I studied with her, my drawings were finally starting to resemble the images I had in my head.

The dog in the picture is a cast iron door stop she had. This dog was a compromise between she and I. I wouldn't have to draw fabric and fruit if I promised to sketch this dog and not my cartoon rabbits.

Phone Jobs.

I've been working the Katrina Hotline for the last three days at work. Our organization is mobilizing and training volunteers for the city of Philadelphia.

It's actually not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Most are wack jobs but with the exception of one foul tempered, old woman, they are all very pleasant to talk to.

This got me thinking to how many jobs I have had that involved phones. So far it has been one telemarketing, four receptionist, one phone sex, and one voice over for a concert dates and celebrity gossip hotline.

I got fired from the telemarketing job for lying. The phone sex job was in the basement of a store on Jeweler's Row. It wasn't live phone sex. The office was a makeshift recording studio where girls would record stories for guys to call and listen to. I never understood the appeal to pre-recorded phone sex, besides the stories were some of the most moronic fantasies I had ever heard. Also, the recording equipment was so cheap that my medium range voice generated fuzzy sounding feedback. I had to raise my voice in order to eliminate the fuzz. I probably sounded like a midget.

The voice over job was a second income gig. My friend, Dean, got me the job. This was before the internet became widely accessible. People would call the hotline to listen to the touring dates of their favorite bands. There was also the teen gossip hotline and the music celebrity hotline.

I was given a special phone to record my updates out of my home. The phone had a very sensitive voice receptor. I used the phone for my regular calls too and it would drive people crazy because it sounded like I was shouting all the time.

I loved doing the hotline but I would wait until the last minute to record my updates. I would be up until 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning recording lists and lists of dates. I was so exhausted that towards the end, I wouldn't bother rerecoding over my mistakes. Both Dean and I were guilty of fucking up on our recordings and just leaving them there. Honestly, I can't even imagine who would have actually used this service.

It's funny because although I am friendly and have a pleasant phone voice, I'm seriously lacking in customer service skills. I have a very short level of patience and can turn nasty very quickly.

Thankfully the phone lines will be shut down tomorrow.

I Y Harold and Maude!




Harold and Maude is one of my favorite films. I first saw it in high school with my friend Jimmy, who was a partner in crime for a good two years.

The list is endless- I love 70s cinema and this is a rare example of 70s dark humor and social commentary (in a very bizarre way). Do most viewers realize that Maude is a Holocaust survivor?

The visual and performance details, the script, the soundtrack- all of these elements, rather than competing or overwhelming, come together to create a tight and perfect piece. This film basically created careers for contemporary directors like Wes Anderson.

The car! My mom had the same Jag that Harold's mom gave him. It was her first big purchase with her first job. My dad wrecked the car on rt. 1 a few months later.

Also I love Cat Stevens. Most of his music is a guilty pleasure for me, much like my love of certain John Denver songs. However, Cat Stevens works in the film. The film wouldn't be half of what it is without songs like "Don't Be Shy" and "If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out". Through Harold and Maude, I can love Cat Stevens without apology.

Most importantly, I saw this movie on my first real date with my husband, Paul. He drove an hour and a half on a weeknight to see it with me. I knew then and there that we were a done deal.

Can I Call You Comrade?


I have had an interest in collective labor movements and worker's cooperatives for some time. Probably going back to the summer of 1995, when I briefly joined the Socialist Worker's Party. It was one of my many misguided attempts at that time to try and make a difference. I left the party because, frankly, the members of the group scared me with their rabid adherence to communist principles.

Still, working collaboratively has continued to interest me. This year I started a sewing collective for stitchers and craftspersons in Philadelphia. I'm still trying to define what it means for this group to work together. Initially, it was started as a means to create a community for stitchers and for the group to share large and small projects. Recently, it has grown to include the possibility of teaching and cultural exchanges.

The question of accountability once again makes it way into the equation. Quality control has been a big issue, as has project management. I have found that instead of functioning as a coordinator/member, I am in fact a project manager in all senses. This no longer makes a collective effort.

I wonder if small scale workers collectives are even feasible in this country, at this time. I believe that they are viable but it requires a lot of effort to first educate people on the basics. The "every man for himself" mindset of this country has created a culture where everyone expects their needs to be met but without any consideration of what that might require. These competeting demands make successful collaboration impossible.

San Francisco has a number of successful co-ops. Check out NoBAWC for more info.

There are also some other groups that act as collectives. Project Alabama is a good example.

It's also worthwhile to check out older collectives, like Oceanspray. Many farming communities have a long history of working cooperatively.

Goodbye Lil' Buddy!

I hated you as Gilligan but loved you as Maynard G. Crebs.

I Don't Y Liberals!

I really hate most liberals as much as I do conservatives. I can't stand holier than thou condescension from anyone, regardless of their beliefs. Dogmatic thinking is dogmatic thinking. Right and wrong from the Left or Right wing groups become null and void when passed through a closed mindset.

We're in the midst of liberals having their day,following Katrina's wake. Philadelphia is opening its doors to 5,000 homeless from MS and LA. Funny how tragedy on this level really lets liberals point fingers at how our conservative government has failed our citizens by spending $$ in the wrong places and also lets them play the good guy by opening their homes to these unfortunates. Funny how these liberals are also the very same people to put up a fuss when a homeless shelter is set to be established in their neighborhood.

Working where I do, I see a examples of both effective and destructive liberalism. While I am able to separate the good work that is done from its source, I still have a hard time stomaching the fact that there is little difference between Right and Left.

Daydream Believer

I am a world-class daydreamer. I have been, ever since I can remember. I would gladly take any opportunity to escape from an undesirable situation, which was most of the time for me.

I would spend hours inside my own head. While at school, after school, during long car rides and church. Constantly creating stories or hatching plans.

By the time I reached jr. high, I had entirely stopped caring about learning. I paid enough attention (most times) just to get by but most of my mental energy was spent on daydreaming. Truth be told, I was just bored. Looking back, I was definitely one of those kids that needed to be in a creative learning situation. Lecture style classrooms with repetitive exercises absolutely do not work for me.

Not surprisingly, I quickly sank to the lower level classes. Instead of learning basic algebra, I was creating mechanical designs for a robotic attack dog, complete with retractable razor fangs (for the times when you wanted him to be a pet). Or instead of intro biology, I was laying out the embryonic stages of a dragon in full color. Ok, so I was a slacker dork and this daydreaming plus other forms of escape later on (booze and boys) had me graduating at the bottom of my class. Class rank- 600 out of 650.

Somehow, (sheer will?) I have been able to move ahead in my life and have a fair level of success. Mind escapes are still a problem for me, though. Returning to meditation this year, I have found that I have a neverending stream of thoughts that overrun into everything and that I guess sheer will is the dam I have created to hold them back. Trying to come to a place of mental and emotional balance has shown me just how much these thoughts spill over into my consciousness.

I'm not interested in doing away with daydreaming or mental escapes but I do want to be ok with being present-minded. Why is it that we are not taught to do this in our culture? According to Buddhist beilefs, forward and backward thinking is the cause of most suffering. Our beliefs (social and religious) have us constantly stuck in the past and/or straining for the future.

I'm only at a point where for a moment or two I can sit without a thought taking hold. I don't think that successful practice is about the elimination of thought but rather it is not letting thoughts take hold. There's a lot of shit in my head and person that I will do anything not to see. I'm hoping that with continued practice I can finally stop running away.

Growing Greener

This past May, PA voters were asked to pass the $625 M bond issue on the Growing Greener Initiative. This initiative, which was signed into action in July by Rendell, is dedicating $80 M to the Farmland Preservation Program. The program pays farmers a sum per acre in order to not sell their land to developers.

Growing up in Bucks County, PA, I was surrounded by farms up until I was in high school. Development started in the late 70s and by the mid-80s had exploded. By 1985, 80% of the farms in my area were gone and turned into massive developments or shopping centers.

My next door neighbor, Mr. Styers, owned and operated one of the more successful produce farms in the area. Styers Orchards had been in the Styers family for 3 generations. Mr. Styers, at the age of 102, went to court to contest the three existing deeds on his property. Two deeds were held by his son and grandson, both of whom wished to sell the property to developers. Mr. Styers won the case and sold the property to the state which has added it to the Penn State agricultural program.

The disappearance of farmland has been increasing since the late 70s to accomodate population growth. Each state has it's own approach to land preservation. PA still has a large amount of undeveloped rural land. Expansion is on the rise and PA's central and western sectors are poised for rapid development within the next decade.

While I understand that in order to accomodate our growing population, land must be developed. However, it has to be done both with smart growth and appreciation for our natural resources in mind. We cannot recreate these resources once they are gone.

I have spent half of my life in a rural area and the other half in some city or another. Both experiences have shown me how essential smart growth and land preservation are. What concerns me is that the majority of our populations live in the suburbs and from what I have encountered from that group is a complete disinterest/ignorance when it comes to thinking about the need for change and awareness for these issues.

I hope someday to own rural property. In the meantime, the least I can do is to vote to help save them.